Blog 3 - Is a blessed relationship easy to achieve?
Look at these pictures. Don't they look loving and blessed? :) (credits of pictures: http://www.lakopi.net/fann-wong-christopher-lee-wedding/)
Their wedding is the hot issue right now. So if you are unaware of this, you seriously need to check it out! No worries, I will provide some snippets of their relationship and the progress of their wedding here.
Both Fann Wong and Christoper Lee are currently 38 years of age, the older is Fann Wong. (oops.Did I just expose something that I am not supposed to? My bad.) Fann Wong was proposed by Christopher Lee with a $50,000 two-carat solitaire ring in February this year. How lucky is she! They will be tying the knot in a spectacular star-studded wedding on September 29. And with Fann expected to don an estimated $2.5million worth of jewellery, there's always plenty of reason to be plum with joy.
It is evident that both of them are attracted to each other by their physical appearances. I am sure this is so for all other couples too, but to a different extent. I believe this is how they want to get to know each other further. However, over time, perception of physical attractiveness changes.
In order to form a relationship, people often based on the similarities between them and their partners. Similarities such as attitude, values, preferences, beliefs, and many others, lead to the beginning of a relationship whereas social preferences help to sustain a relationship. Imagine having a relationship where your partner has many differences from you, my personal opinion is that it will be distratrous. Using a typical example, the male is a Christian and the female is a buddhist. Initially, no problems may arise as they are both alright with having different religions. However, as time passes, the distance between them will increase. Buddhists' and Christians' practices and way of thinking are very different. Hence, this tend to lead to quarrels very easily since their views are very different from each other. In fact, I have known of many couples who broke up due to their religious differences. I truly empathise with these couples. Thinking that all may work out, but in the end, break-ups and divorces are still inevitable. My take is a happy ending is not that easy to achieve afterall.
Having shared social contacts can also help in improving one's relationship. If you want to know your partner better, you should mix around with his/her circle of friends. Take Fann Wong and Christopher Lee's case for example, since Fann Wong often hangs out with the famous hairstylist, David Gan, it would help Christopher Lee a lot in getting to know Fann Wong better. Furthermore, when Christopher Lee was unsure of the types of diamond rings to get for Fann Wong, he approached David Gan's help.
All in all, I am very happy for them and wish them all the best! :D
posted by charlenetan at
11:18 PM
16 Comments:
indeed people get together because of similarities.. people tends to be attracted to people who have some similarities with them. These similarities gives them common topic to talk about. It's never easy to sustain a relationship, whether it's with friends, family, boyfriends, husbands, etc. Often, we will have to be understanding, to give and take and be forgiving. Differences in beliefs and opinions will lead to conflicts but how we go about solving them determine whether the relationship can be sustained. Yup, happy endings are hard to achieve. Much effort from both parties are needed.
Karen: It is quite saddening for people to give up a relationship when it has been a long one, for either friends, lovers, etc. However, trying to sustain a relationship when it is difficult to continue gives people a sense of satisfaction.
Well, certainly most of the fans will attribute their attraction to each other based on their appearances.
Its all open to intepretation isnt it?
Certainly their union cannot be on built on mutual attraction to each other's appearances. They must have formed their relationship on some kind of common points.
They got together based on their appearances? It's not stated. Both of them are quite attractive to most people's eyes doesn't mean that they only love each other because of looks isn't it, albeit, it might be a good first impression. There must be a lot more other things that goes a lot deeper, if not, there won't be a over-hyped wedding that they are having now.
Personally, i do not think that it is "evident that both of them are attracted to each other by their physical appearances". They might both be celebrities and have good looks but that does not mean that physical appearance is a very important component to them when they are choosing their life-long partner. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and i think people have different perceptions of beauty. Physical appearance is not everything but only part of thereof. I am sure of the fact that they will want their other half to be beautiful, but not entirely based on appearances only.
Although on another hand, it's also perfectly normal to look for something different in a mate. complementary qualities I guess. I think romance is too complex to break it down into "slmilar+shared social contacts increasies your chances of marriage by 25%"
I know people who consciously look for someone not in their normal circles, and people who look for contrasting qualities. I think our unique preferences are too varied to try and condense into one article.
Yu Han: Yes, physical appearance differs and may not be of much importance to different people. Certainly, for the case of Fann Wong and Christopher Lee, besides physical appearances and not having time for each other due to their busy schedules, another reason is perhaps due to the fact that they plan for lifelong committment, thus, they need more time to find out if their significant other is suitable for them.
Clouds: No, what I am saying is that any person will have expectations of their ideal partner. Since visuals can be easily noticed and evualuated than others such as character which need more time to find out, Fann Wong and Christopher Lee are first attracted to each other through physical appearance and perhaps through compliments of their significant other.
People do get attracted the each other because of appearances. (First impression counts. :) ) But do people's relationships drift apart because of their religions? I acknowledge that it is difficult to understand another religion from their viewpoint when I'm not a believer of that religion. Couples need to tolerate and understand each other's religions. Yet, it is uncommon to see in families whereby the wife and husband believe in different religions.
zh: Hey ZH! U finally posted something! :D Thanks!
It is not uncommon that couples have different religious beliefs.
Perhaps, it depends a lot whether the couples are very invloved in their religions. For example, Christians need to attend Chapel service and Sunday class on Sunday, and some other encouraged gatherings such as Bible study on Saturday or other days of the week. If her significant other do not understand her religion and insist on her spending more time with him when she obviously cannot, problems then arise. It is a sad thing, considering all that are put in to build a relationship. :(
Hey Mr. Ong! I agree with you. Although what we learn in Communications is so logical and sequential, that is only for theory wise, isn't it? Relationships is just too complicated; there is no way to break it down that easily. Not mentioning about relationship between couples, don't all relationships appear as complicated too? At the end of the day, it is for one to have a realistic expectation of his/her partner and to compromise some of the weaknesses.
YL: It is just that relationships are too complicated and ever-changing. One's perception of the others' physical appearances vary too, from time to time, but I am definitely not saying that they decide to get together solely based on physical appearance.
There is no doubt that a relationship can only last if both parties are open and respectful about each other's lifestyle choices and try to achieve some sort of a balance on the matter. However, what I want to highlight is that physical attraction also plays a vital role in a relationship, and not only in the initial stages like many people claim. If what they claim is true, why do married men with kids have mistresses outside?
I agree that people get together because of similarities between them.However, there are people who gets along very well even though they many differences between them.These differences can also make up for their weaknesses too.It is not necessary to end up divorce.Couple should do their part in maintaining their relationship.I believe that religion differences is only a factor contributing to their break-ups.They can make up for their differences by understanding and have tolerance to each other religion.They should at least make the effort to have understand each other so that they will not divorce because of their differences.Furthermore,doesn't they get married means they have already accepted each other differences? Hence, it should not be a problem if they are willing to maintain their relationship.
Chris, thanks for your comment! Does what you say apply to you as well? Haha :D It's true that married men have mistresses outside perhaps due to physical appearance, but actually other factors also influenced them to do so. They may want to seek challenges, like seeing for themselves whether they are still attractive in the eyes of the other women.
Hey Hui! Thanks for your comment! Actually getting married does not mean that they have accpeted each other's differences; this is especially for those who do not think thoroughly before deciding on marriage which is a very sad thing. Disagreements occur due to the differences they have, which they later then find out.
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