Blog 6 - Culture in the eyes of different people
How to promote world peace? Through international, intercultural, interracial marriage? Well, there is such a marriage in South Korea, not one, but a whole lot of weddings.
Recently, Reverend Moon, the Korean religious leader of the Unification Church, paired the 45,000 people in the global mass wedding which was the largest in the decade. Personally, I was stunned by this huge number of people marrying to another party of another country that they did not know of. Isn't this a scary thought?
"My wish is to completely tear down barriers and to create a world in which everyone becomes one," he wrote in his recent autobiography. Mass weddings of people of different countries has been the culture of the Unification Church.
Credit: AssociatedPress, youtube
Physical appearance is one thing, personality is another. Talking about communication, I really wonder whether the couples are even able to communicate with each other. How then are they able to break up the cultural barriers which is the main purpose of the mass weddings? What about attitudinal barriers due to intercultural communication? I believe not all couples are able to accept each other's culture totally, perhaps resulting in culture shock and ethnocentrism. How are they able to live with each other peacefully and eternally? Most probably, Reverend Moon assumed that members of the Unification Church will simply accept their lifelong partners without complaints. Despite these, I am surprised that some people are happy with this arranged marriage. "I'm so happy," Choi In-seok, the English teacher said. "Today's wedding doesn't only mean our happiness but also our entire families' happiness." Kim Shin-ah who was married to Choi, broke into a smile as she described her new husband as "reliable."
In my opinion, this is the culture of the Unification Church, and it is evident that this is a collectivist culture. Social behaviour is very much determined by the views, needs and goals of the ingroup rather than the self, for this case, it is all for the sake of world peace. However, I really pity those who are not in favour of such a marriage which can be very tragic for anyone who has to be forced to do against his will. One bride in South Korea sat forlornly in a lawn chair with a black jacket thrown over her white wedding dress, tears streaming down her face. "I came here against my will," she said. "I'm too young to get married. I don't understand why I have to do something like this." This is only one of the many who are complaining.
Culture can be positive in the sense that it helps to build a collective programming in our minds else we would be very lost of the way to behave, of who we are and in what kind of groups we belong to. However, in this case, it is evident that such a culture is not a very promising one, or should I say that in a culture, there ought to be people who will not be conformed to a particular culture due to the difference in their thinking.
(Quotations)Credit: http://sg.news.yahoo.com/ap/20091014/tap-as-skorea-mass-weddings-4th-ld-write-601b9ad.html
posted by charlenetan at
12:20 AM
18 Comments:
i wonder whether they have taken the purpose of marriage in the right perspective. Marriage should not be forced and marriage comes out of love for each other and after knowing and understanding each other. It comes from knowing each others' strengths and weaknesses and yet able to love them for who they are and make this committement for life. It's not a thing to be put on the table for negotiations or something to 'try' or 'test' out. It's sad to see people treating marriage like this.
Wow, i must admit i was quite shocked when i see 45,000 people participated in the global mass weddings. I believe what you said is true, that there should be MANY couples who are forced to get married, even though that goes against his/her will. Marriage is something that should be taken more seriously, as it is an irreversible process. I think this kind of marriage is not really effective and cannot be sustained for long time, due to the cultural barriers that you mentioned.
It's upsetting to know that people are still forced to get married against their will. But even in many countries where people 'willingly' get married, they sometimes do it for many reasons and love may not even be one of them. Do that makes it any better? I don't think so.
But it is true that it is difficult for us to understand certain culture that believes in arranged marriage, just like it is hard for them to understand our culture too.
Karen: Thanks so much for your comment. Yes, it is indeed very saddening to see people treat marriage this way, afterall, this is the 21st century already. It is shocking fact that even in a developing country like South Korea, there are such marriages going on.
Andrew: Thanks for your comment. There may be couples who might hit off very well, but those who don't, I feel very sorry for them. If their parents are supportive of such marriages too, well, there isn't much I could say.
Christopher: Thanks for commenting. Due to the arranged marriage, I also agree that marriage for other purposes without love is pointless. I, myself, would not and never will do such a thing.
Hello Charlene
Isn't arranged marriage so passe in our society now?
Every society have different views towards marriage. Just like in the olden days, marriage is arranged according to social status so that couples will be able to communicate with each other better.
Personally I feel that communication between 2 parties can be learned and mutual respect can be cultivated. Love can too be nurtured later.
hey Yenling: Thanks for your comment! :D
Yes, I agree with you. It is always possible. Howeer, it depends on inviduals mainly. Perhaps for most of the Koreans, they are alright with this because of their culture. Many of them date for quite a short period of time and get married soon.
I am surprise that in this century there are so many people got married through matchmaking.In my opinion, if you have the thought of getting married but could not find your other partner,this method of matchmaking to get married is all right.They could still live happily if they are tolerant with each other even if they are of different race.
However, i cannot believe that there are some people who are forced to get married through such situation.I believe that their marriage will not be a success one if one think in this way.They should fight for their right if they do not want to get married so young.Furthermore,we are now living in such modern country that even a woman can fight for their own rights.
Hey HQ, thanks for your comment! Yes, the poor girl should have fought for her own rights, even if she was forced to marry at a young age. Furthermore, this is not under the country law. If we come to think of their situations, we are quite fortunate; actually much fortunate and blessed. :)
WOW! I am actually very surprised that people these days agree to arranged marriage. It is very different compared to my culture. I pity those who want to object to such marriage yet are not able to do so. Aren't we fortunate and blessed?
Yo Sica! We are fortunate and blessed indeed. I would not want to imagine myself being forced to marry a man that I do not know at all. I guess at the end of the day, I would just collapse and go crazy; but, I don't think that day will ever come. :)
Futile attempts at unifying the world may only hasten the impeding doom. I definitely will not wish to marry any random girl someone finds for me.
Let's see how many of them ends up in divorce. I'm not being cynical, but these people do not have love within them in the 1st place, the very essence that ties 2 person together.
I am the first to comment?! I really couldnt imagine marrying to someone I do not know of. I believe when you are married, your re able to tolerate each others' differences and culture to a certain extent. After marriage, the real understanding begins as couples live together and discover each others' flaws. Marriage is just the start of everything.
clouds, thanks for your comment! Yes, without love, marriage may eventually fails. However, you may be surprised that many actually tried to sustain their marriage even without love; the essence that binds 2 people together. Just by looking at old generations; any grandparents, they are the evidence that marriage without love can still be sustained.
Hey zh. Thanks for your comment. Yes, it is quite terrible to even think of it. I agree that to sustain the relationship is the hardest part of all.
I cannot believe arranged marriages still exist in Korea, a relatively modern country in my opinion. It is so large scale that i'm not surprised many are being forced to marry against their own will. How sad it is to marry someone whom you know you might have some conflict with in future due to inevitable differences in thinking and perpectives. The culture in which one is brought up in affects one the most and it is difficult to unlearn it and accept another in a short time.
Yu Han, thanks for your comment! This is so unbelieveable. I myself was super surprised when I found out about this too. It is very unbelieveable for such country which seems to be so modernised yet having such traditional practice in this society.
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